So it has been nearly three months since I last done a journal update . . . my last journal being about seeing STOMP live, which was absolutely fantastic
anyway, a fair few things have happened since then. I don't remember much of August, I'm lucky if I remember things with my hypo-brain (the joys of an underactive thyroid and medication for it!) but September was a completely different story.
September was an interesting . . . . and very shit month for me in general. First things first, I started my job full-time permanent at the hospital, which I'll talk about in a minute. But September was just pure hell. A good friend of mine, was sadly attacked right at the beginning of the month; she was attacked in quite possibly the worst way possible . . . she was raped and left with a broken arm. That really hit home . . . because even though you can read about attacks like that in the paper, it really does hit home when it happens to someone you know . . and care about. And I think the reason WHY she was raped . . . is just unacceptable and quite frankly, I'm glad the person responsible for such a dreadful crime is actually behind bars. But sadly I then received news on the 24th of September that my friend had taken her own life; she couldn't live with herself and she was so bright and bubbly, always smiling, always had something positive to say. But she'd also had a very rough childhood, where she had her trust betrayed by someone that she should have been able to confined in. But I am not going to talk about that. It was a real shock to receive the news, I was devastated, I broke down in the middle the office I work in . . . it still hurts me now; still upsets me knowing that she is gone and not coming back. I am still coming to terms with that and it will take a while for me to come to terms with it.
My grandfather also ended up in hospital in September; I am still very cross and disappointed with his doctor's surgery but I am not going to go into that either, otherwise I'll just get myself wound up! But he ended up in hospital as he was very short of breath, he couldn't move two feet without feeling faint and his oxygen levels were really low, which is never good! He was there for a good five days and he had a really bad chest infection, so they put him on antibiotics. My grandfather is prone to get bronchitis because he has a weak chest. But it scared me so much to hear that he was in hospital, because it was September 2013 when he had his mini stroke and seizure, and because of that it did take away some of his independence; he's completely blind in his left eye as the stroke/seizure damaged the mechanism in his brain that allows him to see out of his left eye. And he's already got age-related macular degeneration in his right eye, so it is now, only a matter of time before he loses his eye sight altogether. I worry about him all the time; I try and make it so that I see him once/twice a month.
And then I ended up on antibiotics myself; I ended up with a small infection in my gum around my wisdom tooth ._. and even though the antibiotics they gave me, I'd had them before in the past with no problems what so ever, this time I ended up having a very mild reaction to them this time around ._. ended up covered in a rash and that is no fun, what so ever! So looks like that is another antibiotic I can't have as I'm already allergic to penicillin!
Like I said, I started my job as full-time permanent and at first, I felt like tearing my hair out as I felt like I had been thrown right in the deep end of the pool. I felt like I wasn't getting the support I needed, like I was being ignored when I asked a question and when I got an answer, it was a very short and blunt answer. But we were under-staffed (still are now) and I pulled through, despite all the stress of losing a friend, my grandfather and my bitch of a wisdom tooth. I'm settling into it even more now, which is good, but I do have my moments where I regret going for the job and wished I'd stayed as agency; I always said I would only ever do hospital admin work through agency, I'd never do it was permanent full-time/part-time. But here I am doing it as a full-time permanent member of staff!! It's an incredibly busy working environment that keeps me on my toes, but I cope and always say when I'm not. My plan is to stay there for a year or two and then maybe decide if I want to go back to childcare, if I want to look for another admin role within the hospital, an admin role within a childcare setting, whether I want to go back to the agency or if I want to stay put; I'm not entirely sure yet on what I want to do, I'm only 21!
So with September being incredibly crap and horrible, October got off to a little shaky started. Firs day of October, I find out my uncle was in eye casualty after getting some rust in his eye, despite wearing protective goggles! I had half a mind to go down there and smack him for it and say, "Jesus Christ family, stop scaring me by getting yourselves admitted to the hospital!" But he's fine though - I will say this to anyone that reads this (if anyone reads this) IF you do get something in your eye, then for the love of Loki, either try and wash it out with eye wash or go to your A&E, walk-in centre or ER (if you like in the US) because your eyes are so delicate and I don't think a lot of people realise just how much you rely on your eye sight and how much of your independence it takes away when you become visually impaired! Anyway, enough of me being a mother XD but October in general was an ok month
I still have my thyroid issues; they'll never go away, my immune system won't ever stop attacking my thyroid gland. I've also been having some anxiety and depression-like issues, which hasn't helped an awful lot but I'm still kicking and working my way through each and every day!
I haven't really done much in the way of photography . . . or writing for that matter. I haven't been in the right frame of mind or motivated to do any ._. but I have been doing some RPing with my near and dear friend, who is like a sister to me
which I have absolutely loved
we're still RPing and I find it a great escape from stress, its probably about the only form of writing that I do to be perfectly honest! I do find it hard to sit and concentrate at times and be in the right frame of mind.
I've just realised that this is probably a really long journal by now, of me just rambling away. I know people don't really read them or anything, but it's just nice to get things off my chest at times. And I thought it was about time I did a journal!!
Oh and before I do finish this journal, I do recommend watching the film Only Lovers Left Alive . . . . to me it is how a vampire love story should be. Plus I love and adore Tom Hiddleston
he plays such a brilliant character in the film!
Anyway, time for me to head off. If anyone does read this, then I hope you are well!